Post-Diablo, I went to relieve myself as only a man who requires bladder relief can. Nothing unusual there, and the Belgian Beer Café’s facilities were in glorious condition. However, I spied some folded paper on the floor as I was leaving the scene of the crime.
Now, I don’t want to give people the impression that I’m some sort of toilet-garbage collecting freak, but I thought that the content of the paper was worth collecting and sharing. It bears no resemblance to any work I’ve ever seen performed, which is probably fair enough; still, here it is in all its transcribed glory.
I’ve had trouble looking for a job. The centrelink lady said it’s my resume. She said it doesn’t stand out enough.
So when I applied for my next job I though ok..how am I going to force an employer to notice me above 100’s of other applications.
So I sent them a singing telegram. This is what happened…
How are you supposed to get an employer to take notice above 100’s of other applications?? Send in a singing telegram or something??
The joke is… . I cant get attention so I have an over the top resume
One of the employers actually sent me a nasty letter back.
“its ludicrous you would even consider that you could gain the respect of an employer for this stunt.
It shows you are reckless, audacious and lack maturity.
You caused a disruption and upset myself and my employees and I would appreciate a formal letter of appology from you.
So I responded. I was going to send another singing telegram. Instead I sent a prostitute. Just my way of saying get fucked!
So during the week I saw this it’s a new lynx mens shower called ignite.
That claims to be made of volcanoes. That’s ridiculous
Listen to this lynx ignite with stimulating…
In the mood.. to do what exactly? Destroy villages?
The thing is most volcanoes lay dormant for 100’s of years. So this isnt going to do anything..
I though no ill give it a go so I showered before the show. So your lucky really. cause last weeks audience really copped it!
And yeah so I rubbed volcanoes over myself and went out to see if it would make a difference..here’s what happened.
Normally, I’d say “if this is your work and you want me to remove this blog entry, let me know and I’ll do so.” However, given the number of readers of this blog (total: 2) and the quality of the work in question, I think the “Delete” button’s pretty safe.