[2013027] Nellie White in The One Handed Show: An Introduction To Pornography
Nellie White @ The Tuxedo Cat – Cat Bowl
9:45pm, Mon 18 Feb 2013
There’s no mucking around with The One Handed Show – mere seconds after introducing herself, Nellie White is describing her first encounter with pornography in lurid detail. Then, with just the briefest of pauses, she describes the worst time to discover that you’re not a lesbian (in the midst of a threesome), and follows that up with an overview of the various types of vaginas typically found in porn movies – including “the one that looks like it’s going to suction onto your face.”
I read that paragraph back objectively, and – apart from the obvious (and deserved) self-criticism over its structure – I have to admit: this sounds pretty puerile. Lowbrow. Cheap and lazy fodder for humour.
But Nellie White totally makes it work. In front of a small crowd – double-digits may have only been threatened, not breached – her stage manner appeared quite bizarre; it’s like she’s ultra-self-conscious, and unsure as to how a joke is going to pan out… but then she pulls out a joke (such as her description of whippets – “like a greyhound played by Tom Hanks at the end of Philadelphia”) that is absolute gold, and in stark contrast to the perceived lack-of-confidence and that accompanied it.
Sure, some of her threads felt a little slight: the short story where she meets a significant pornography producer in the UK seemingly goes nowhere, and I would’ve loved to hear more about her visits to the OFLC and her hunt for historically significant pornography within the secret rooms of the British Museum. But I’m more than happy to trade those flat spots for the result of her audience query this evening: upon receiving mystified looks from some females in the front row when they admitted to not knowing what bukkake was, Nellie was momentarily taken aback when one of them admitted she was only sixteen years old. “Oh,” said Nellie guardedly, “that probably means that most of this show is illegal.”
Now, I was wary that much of the delight I felt about this show may have been due to the contrast between this quiet and shy (almost a shrinking violet, really) woman onstage, and the utter filth (but historically accurate filth!) that came out of her mouth. But, having seen her perform a short set at Rhino Room a few nights later, I became convinced that Nellie’s sense of timing is impeccable – and when she offhandedly suggests that “no-one should be forced to suck a dick until they vomit… except for that unhelpful guy at the bank,” you can’t help but love her work.